A woman with tired eyes and a weary expression, sitting on a bed with her head in her hands

What Not to Say to Postpartum Mums: Avoid These Hurtful Remarks

What Not to Say to Postpartum Mums: Avoid These Hurtful Remarks

Bringing a child into the world is a monumental experience filled with joy, excitement, and challenges. However, for many new mothers, the postpartum period can also be a time of vulnerability and emotional sensitivity. It's crucial to offer support and encouragement to postpartum mums, but sometimes, well-intentioned remarks can have unintended negative effects. In this blog post, we'll explore what not to say to postpartum mums and how to provide meaningful support instead.

Why Your Words Matter

Before delving into specific phrases to avoid, it's essential to understand why your words matter so much to postpartum mums. The postpartum period is a time of immense physical and emotional changes, often accompanied by sleep deprivation, hormonal fluctuations, and adjustment to a new role as a parent. During this time, new mothers may already be feeling vulnerable and unsure of themselves. Hurtful or dismissive remarks can compound these feelings and contribute to postpartum depression or anxiety.

Avoid These Hurtful Remarks

1. You've put on weight

Weight-related comments can be incredibly hurtful to postpartum mums who may already be grappling with body image issues. Instead of focusing on appearance, offer words of encouragement and support for their journey to physical recovery.

2. You Look Tired

A woman with tired eyes and a weary expression, resting her head in her hands

While it may seem like a harmless observation, telling a postpartum mum that she looks tired can come across as insensitive. Instead, offer assistance or words of affirmation to show that you recognise her efforts and value her well-being.

3. Are You Breastfeeding?

Questions about breastfeeding can be deeply personal and may trigger feelings of guilt or inadequacy in mothers who are unable to breastfeed. Respect their choices and offer support regardless of their feeding method.

4. It's Just Baby Blues, You'll Get Over It

A woman with tired eyes and a weary expression, sitting on a bed with her head in her hands.

Dismissive comments about postpartum mood disorders can invalidate a mother's experiences and discourage her from seeking help. Instead, offer a listening ear and encourage her to seek support from healthcare professionals if needed.

5. When Are You Having Another Baby?

A woman gazing lovingly at her newborn baby, cradling the infant in her arms.

Pressure to have another child soon after giving birth can be overwhelming for postpartum mums who are still adjusting to their new role as parents. Respect their timeline and focus on supporting them in the present moment.

How to Support Postpartum Mums

Instead of offering unsolicited advice or making insensitive remarks, here are some ways you can support postpartum mums:

  • Listen without judgment and offer empathy.
  • Provide practical assistance, such as preparing meals or helping with household chores.
  • Validate their experiences and feelings.
  • Encourage self-care and offer to watch the baby while they take a break.
  • Be patient and understanding as they navigate the challenges of parenthood.

By being mindful of your words and offering genuine support, you can make a positive difference in the lives of postpartum mums during this vulnerable time.


The postpartum period is a sensitive and challenging time for new mothers, and the words we choose can have a significant impact on their well-being. By avoiding hurtful remarks and offering meaningful support instead, we can help postpartum moms feel valued, supported, and empowered on their journey through motherhood. Let's choose our words wisely and uplift one another with kindness and compassion.


With Love, 

Mum Essentials



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